Garfunkel And Oates. Fuck Me In The Ass Because I Love Jesus Lyrics
to live by God's rule So whatever people tell me that the Bible tells me, I will do
Walk the halls of my school with my purity ring Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck And I made a pact To keep my hymen intact And Jesus and I are tight
Never learned about the birds and bees I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees Because the Bible says premarital sex is wrong But Jason says that guys can't wait that long And I don't want to lose him To someone who'll do him I need to figure something out
Well, there's a loophole in the scripture that works really well So I can get him off without going to hell It's my hail Mary full of grace In Jesus' name, we go to fifth base Oh, thank you for making me holy And thank you for giving me holes to choose from And since I'm not a godless whore He'll have to come in the back door Therefore
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus The good lord would want it that way It's the sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization It's just between you and me Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
It's hard to be as pure as me To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity To wait until my marriage bed To give my husband my unsullied maidenhead So take your cock out Shove it in my ass Fuck me until you come Oops! I mean let's join our souls And unite our bodies And fly with the wings of God
Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this And no prophylactics when you put it in Because birth control's for sluts, and it's a sin I've emptied my bowels And laid out the towels I'm ready for romance
I'm praying to the power that's the highest But of all of my holes, this one's the driest And we can't procreate if we anally copulate And God's OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight And I'm staying pure no matter what So I'm OK with everything but Everything but Everything butt
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus The good lord would want it that way Give me that sweet sensation of throbbing rationalization It's just between you and me Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
I do whatever the Bible tells me to Except for the parts that I choose to ignore Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient But the rest, I live by for sure So let's not talk about how the good book Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce And how it condones slavery and killing gays Because those parts don't count of course Let's cherry pick the part about losing my cherry And ? for ambiguities and omissions And circumvent any real sacrifice And still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions And don't you dare question my convictions And don't look closely at the contradictions Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion And have faith in its complete jurisdiction It's the only way to measure if you're good or not And when you're in a debate, just say to have faith Because when up against logic it's the only card you've got So close your eyes Take a deep breath And
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus The good lord would want it that way Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization It's just between you and me Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks So sometimes you need to think outside the box
Garfunkel And Oates. Fuck Me In The Ass Because I Love Jesus Lyrics
to live by God's rule
So whatever people tell me that the Bible tells me, I will do
Walk the halls of my school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck
And I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight
Never learned about the birds and bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
Because the Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long
And I don't want to lose him
To someone who'll do him
I need to figure something out
Well, there's a loophole in the scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It's my hail Mary full of grace
In Jesus' name, we go to fifth base
Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I'm not a godless whore
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
It's the sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
It's hard to be as pure as me
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
To wait until my marriage bed
To give my husband my unsullied maidenhead
So take your cock out
Shove it in my ass
Fuck me until you come
Oops!
I mean let's join our souls
And unite our bodies
And fly with the wings of God
Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this
And no prophylactics when you put it in
Because birth control's for sluts, and it's a sin
I've emptied my bowels
And laid out the towels
I'm ready for romance
I'm praying to the power that's the highest
But of all of my holes, this one's the driest
And we can't procreate if we anally copulate
And God's OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight
And I'm staying pure no matter what
So I'm OK with everything but
Everything but
Everything butt
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
I do whatever the Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest, I live by for sure
So let's not talk about how the good book
Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays
Because those parts don't count of course
Let's cherry pick the part about losing my cherry
And ? for ambiguities and omissions
And circumvent any real sacrifice
And still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
And don't you dare question my convictions
And don't look closely at the contradictions
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
It's the only way to measure if you're good or not
And when you're in a debate, just say to have faith
Because when up against logic it's the only card you've got
So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
So sometimes you need to think outside the box