자유게시판

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ababab 2008-06-10 21:19:07
+9 2398

퀴어문화축제 퍼레이드때 코리안 헤럴드의 눈이 매력적이었던 훈남 외국인 기자가 제눈을 지긋이, 한편으로는 뚫어지게 바라보며 인터뷰 요청하길래 덥석 물어와서 오늘 메일로 보냈지요. 저는 개인적으로 만나게되지나 않을까 하는 혼자만의 상상에 마냥 좋았지만... 뭐 문자라도 주고 받은것만으로도 만족해야 하나요. 2시간 반 걸려서 열심히 썼는데 아까워서 여기에 올려봐요. 음와하하.

 

 

1. Tell me your name, age, occupation, and how long you have been “out.”

I'm Seung-Chan Hong, 25 years old, University Student, and I've been out of my closet for about 4 years and a half, not to everyone, though.

 

2. Tell me a story about your life in Korea.

 As you can see, I had "no personal life" in Korea until I graduated a highschool. My case may have been a little tougher than others, because I have parents who had been quite obsessive when it comes to the matter of letting myself be the part of one of those 1st class universities, Korean Ivy League or whatever which I don't know how to mention. It always have been several "Hakwons" after school and to home everyday.

 

 But the toughest part by then was that I had nobody to share. Share my story, what I had been really going through, who I was. I found out that I was gay when I was thirteen, which I think is quicker than others. So It had been quite a long time since I started to wonder about differences between my friends with girlfriends and I with nobody, looking for the boys. But of couse my parents, teachers, friends, anybody around me had no idea. The only thing that kept my head straight up was the music. I have been love music since much before I knew I was gay.

 

 By the way after I finally graduated the highschool, I could take the issue a little bit more seriously. Because I became a little more independent from my parents mentally and financially. I wanted to find out about who I was so bad. I tried to meet some of the gay people around home. I could meet them on the Korean gaymen's website. And my mother found that out somehow and I had to change my cell phone and my number right on that day, and for the record, believe me, she hasn't been the one who ever bought me CD players and stuff.

 And that was the beginning of the misery that my mother and I had been through. I kept trying to meet a guy telling her I would, and she did literally anything to stop me. Now I kind of regret that I didn't have to be that aggressive with her but that's how I felt. I wanted change what I had been through as soon as possible. But finally I couldn't at the time and I had to lie to her that I was "converted".

 

 I couldn't help myself to feel that my life was so unreal. I didn't even have a single vague image of what I was going to be. I had to meet someone like who I was, talk about the issue, or have some dates and live a real life so I can move on. To begin I kept meeting gay people from the website despite of my mother being such a detective, trying to figure out everything I do, not what I feel. I met few guys and dated some of them. But they didn't last very long and I still felt some kind of emptiness. That's when I started think about "Gay Community" and meeting people like normal people do, not from the website. That's about the time that I was getting out of from the army where I couldn't find any difference from the highschool in terms of being a gayman, by the way.

 

 So, anyway I looked for where gay people were and found out the website of chingusai - The Korean Gaymen's Humanrights Group. First I went there when there was their monthly meeting of November, last year. I was a little nervous because it was my first time there and surprised by the way people presenting and expressing themselves.

 

 I was very content after I got back from there but it wasn't very smart of me for letting my mother figure out that I did by having few papers from the group in my room. But I managed the situation and let things passed at the moment. Then I went there for the second time on January's monthly meeting this year, and that's when my mother figured out that I was the on-line member of the group. She told my father about it and my parents decided to let me out, I mean kick me out.

 

 I really didn't know what to do on the day I got away from home, but I came this far to settle down in one of the member of Chingusai's house. I still go to school, I'm still studying. There aren't too much things changed but two things. First, I am in the gay community now, and second, I think I know better where I'm going in my life. That's quite overwhelming.

 

3. What is the gay community like in Korea?

 I can't tell exactly I'm not an expert. But one thing I see is that it's very trapped in the particular time and areas Jongno and Itaewon at night time. I think the entire community has to come out of it's own closet to the society. I think the parade we had about a week ago means a lot in terms of that.

 

4. Do you have a lot of gay friends?

 Not the friends I've known for a long time, but yes I do. I share my story with them and that's therapeutic.

 

5. How do you think homosexuality is viewed in Korean society?

 To the old, WEIRD. And to the young generation, FASHIONABLE. I still don't think people consider it as the real issue yet.

 

6. Have you told your family?

 Yes. It has been hard, but not to my older brother. He said he already knew it just when I told him that I had something very important to tell. He's the only one who really supports me to be gayman. And my parents, now they say they accept the way I am but the thing is they still think it's all their fault or they're still afraid to be blamed by others for making their son a gayman, I guess. I still have a long way to go.

 

7. What does your family think about your lifestyle?

 I think my lifestyle has not so much things to do with me being gay, but anyway I think they think my lifestyle is "not on the right track".

 

8. What are the biggest problems for gays in Korea?

 Staying in the closet. I'm saying this not because I'm out to my family and some of my friends, but because I think it's the matter of people living a healthier life. I want the people to believe in themselves and not to sacrifice their entire life for others. I believe there are no "others" when there's no "me". I even see one of my gay friends wants to get married with a woman just because their parents want the grandchildren. I think that's the criminal to the woman who would marry him. Don't you think? I know It's still very hard to be "out" in Korean society but if people are willing to push through all the way out, I think it absolutely worth it.

 

9. Do you think Korea is a difficult place to live if you are gay?

 Yes. For right now, yes. I've been through hard times personally. And it's not just me but my parents as well. But I see the things are changing step by step.

 

10. What do you think should happen in the future for the gay community?

 I think there should be the community for the teenagers. Not only the adults but they're also the human beings that feel the need of living a life and need to learn how to love. And they should be grown as gay people aiming for their life's goal not worrying about wrong things. Well, speaking of this, this issue is just not dominated by the group of gay teenagers. Korean society has the tendency of treating the students below highschool, non-human beings. I think this really has to be changed.

간파칫솔 2008-06-10 오후 21:47

성찬, 학창시절 안 팔린 것을 '난 음악에 몸팔았다' 미화... 충격

조중동칫솔 2008-06-10 오후 21:59

집 나온 눈물 스토리로 훈남 기자에게 어필하려는 성찬, 과연 성공할까.

ababab 2008-06-10 오후 23:20

-_- 뜨끔...x2

차돌바우 2008-06-10 오후 23:30

엄훼~
그럼 외국으로 팔여가는 게야?
그리고.. 왼 성찬.. --;
식객이라도 찍는게냐?

2008-06-11 오전 01:45

앞으로 인터뷰 할 때는 모든 질문에 '한국게이인권운동단체 친구사이' 얘기를 하렴.
이를테면, 이름은? 한국게이인권운동단체 친구사이 회원 누구입니다. ㅎㅎ
그나저나 번역 안 된 영어를 어떻게 읽으라는 거니... ㅠㅠ

ababab 2008-06-11 오전 03:58

친구사이 썼어요 후후훗. 코리안 게이멘스 휴먼라이츠 그룹!

ababab 2008-06-11 오전 04:19

번역은.. ㅇ므..ㅇㅁ,ㅇ러ㅐ먖ㄷ......

damaged..? 2008-06-11 오후 18:21

ㅋㅋ 아바밥양, 곧 외국으로 시집 가겠네~

이동하 2008-06-12 오전 10:10

ㅎㅎ 평을 하자면...
동성애자에 대한 편견들을 깨기 위해, 한국에서도 게이 인권단체들이 열심히 활동하고 있다고 언급해주었다면 A+ 이었을 텐데...ㅋ
(특히 8,9,10번 문항에서)

그치만 개인적이고 솔직한 이야기는 참 좋았습니다.



F 는 면했네~^^
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마음연결
마음연결 프로젝트는 한국게이인권운동단체 친구사이에서 2014년부터 진행하고 있는 성소수자 자살예방 프로젝트입니다.